20 March 2009

Work in Progress Critique

Please comment on Monica's March artwork. This is still a work in progress as the two pieces have not been permanently attached yet. Hopefully Monica will comment and let us know what this piece is about.

21 comments:

sam said...

I would like to know what Monica’s concentration is about, but for now, I do like the composition. The piece has a balance feel to it because of the boarder around the piece and the focus point, or points, which are in the middle of the piece (the green objects). Do you plan to leave the background white, though it gives contrast to the work it seems it makes the upper layer work (first piece that is black) out of place. As a suggestion, you could try to add a color that complements the green but the white still works as well.

Momo said...

The ideas that I am working with in my investigations are combining natural elements with humanistic elements. The top element represents a human element. The green objects are "flowers" but they are really only human interpretations of flowers. The lower layer is nature's actuality. I need to find a way to combine the two...

Sam, you're comment is something I hadn't thought of, but that's probably because I really don't want to add another color... I would add hints of green, but not another color.

Jacqueline Ryanne said...

I enjoy your piece because even though there is a strong contrast between the background with the flowers and the "fan flowers," (they kind of look like fans to me) like Sam said, it's unified through the shape of both types of flowers -- it's like the "fan flowers" are modernized versions of flowers .

I don't think you should add another colour . It's a fairly simple layout with complexity added through the design of the flowers , and if another colour was added , it'd just take away from the focus of the eye on the flowers -- unless it is some hints of light green watercolour in the background .

sam said...

Well now i am able to understand your piece better. I think you misunderstood me, I mean to say that you should add maybe a lighter color of green or a darker one, but not a darker one that would mix in with the black naturalist flowers. I mean to say the adding of the green in the the bottom piece would unify both pieces more by having a color to link them to one another. So you should do the hints of green you are considering to do.

Jacqueline Ryanne said...

But no additional colour--i think it still links . Colour would be more unifying , but without it , my eye focuses on the relating shapes of the flowers as a unifying design . And to keep my eye focused on their shapes , and still have some additional colour , I'd go with a lighter shade of green .

Stephanie said...

I like your investigation idea and I think this piece presents your idea well. It is an overall good composition. I like how the black and white “flowing” flowers contrast with the highly stylized, geometric flowers. The “natural flowers” that act as a border around the inner “human interpretation” of flowers seems to create balance in your piece. I agree with Jackie and Sam that perhaps you should add green to the bottom layer to unify the two pieces. If you use watercolor it would be light enough to act as an accent color without taking focus away from the center. I also like your idea of “human’s interpretation” vs. “nature’s actuality”. It is complex and specific to your investigation. Do you have an idea for a title?

Kalee said...

Jackie and Sam have been suggesting adding color to the background to tie the two pieces together, but I agree with Monica; no additional color should be added to the background.
To connect the two together better, I think Monica should add more white highlights around the green "flowers" and even go so far as to make the green a more lime or neon color. Also, by brightening the green, it could make the flowers look less natural.
This could just be a lighting issue, but some of the black flowers of the background are almost a grayish, which detracts from the contrast. I'd just go over them again in black.
I also think it could look better if you did the top piece on a stiff board, like railroad board, instead of cardboard because of the lines you get when you add color. On the other hand, those lines add another contrasting element to the green flowers and the background.

Nicole said...

When I first looked at the picture, I hadn't read Ms. DeBello's comment underneath stating that they were not attached.
They look fine together as it is. I really like the contrast between the two pieces. The bottom being in black and white, while the top piece is in color, really focuses your attention around the piece.
The white fading into black, helps the green to pop out more, but it also allows for the first piece to reconnect with the bottom, through the use of white.
I really like this piece the way that it is, no additional color needed.

Krystal said...

I like the watercolor idea that Stephanie said, because watercolor is subtle enough to blend with the white background yet it adds unity to your work, so the middle piece isn't just there. But I also think that by faintly adding some stronger white aroung the flower you will make your focal point stronger and at the same time unites your work.
Usually putting the focal point in the middle is kind of weird, but you made it work because the flowers sort of flow out into the other piece.
Your texture is amazing because of you using the cardboard but also because the green netting you used for the flower. I don't think you can make it more lime colored or neon colored like Kalee said because it is netting.
I was also thiking that if strengthening the white isn't what you want to do, you can make the black on the cardboard a stronger black, which will have the same effect.

roxy4589 said...

I think the composition is looking very nice and I agree with what Sam said in his first comment about how there is strong contrast. I also think that besides the colors, the textures of the two pieces add to the contrast in the pieces. What alse are you planning to do? I think that though it is looking nice a stronger connection between the two pieces is needed. What I would suggest is that on the next flower you do, do like half of a leaf or petal and to the tip on the cardboard so it look more like a connection or symbiosis i think is the word you use to describe your investigation. I think that doing that will really merge the two and make the piece stronger. Also, since the background of the board is already dark, I would do the flower on the white board black like you have been and then do the tip on the cardboard in white, to create stronger contrast.

Stephanie said...

I think that putting more white in the center to highlight the flowers would create the same unity as adding the green if you did not want to add more color. I agree with Krystal, although your focal point is in the center the way that the flower petals radiate outward and are different sizes allows it to work well because it is not symmetrical. As I look back at it, I like how the surface of the cardboard creates lighter lines where you went over with what I am assuming is soft pastel. Those lines seem to conflict with the vertical lines in the netting, but in a good way. I also like the texture that you were able to create in this piece through the netting and the bumps on the cardboard. I think that the green works well as an accent color with your lack and white and you may not want to overdo it in this piece.

Vanessa said...

Your piece is very bold and I think it makes a good composition. I know your arnt finished yet but I think another shade would be too much with this piece. I feel that it needs something to tie the background to the foreground because the black flowers and the cardboard piece stand out when they are alone. When they are together they make an awesome piece, but I don't know if it flows. Maybe you don't intend for it to though. It would be a bit hard to incorperate another color or shade of green, because of both bold pieces. Out of all your work I like this one the best so far.

Katie said...

I love the idea you have here.

About the color debate above, I like the bakcground as it is. I would suggest that you make the green in the top layer more vibrant. When I look at the top piece, it seems to fade an dwash itself out. It blends into itself.

The top needs a contrast either added in by a brighter green or more white around the fan flowers.

I like how the piece flows all around. You have a very dominant focal point (the fan flower in the bottom left), and the fan flowers above and the black flowers below take the eye all around the piece. But because of the smoothness of the lines, it doesn't feel disjointed or confusing, but is actually almost soothing to look at.

Kalee said...

I agree with Roxanne when she said that next time to have part of the flowers from the background overlapping the cardboard, it would pull the two pieces together a lot more. Right now, the two seem to be too detached and that connecting quality will really link it together.

Krystal said...

I don't know about overlapping the background with the top piece because then maybe your artwork would look too crowded.
I went to your piece today and touched the background piece, and I realzied that it would be too hard for you to put watercolor as an accent color in the background because of the texture of the board. Still, I think that the background needs to have a subtle green or the foreground needs to be more contrasting in the black and white.

Katie said...

"part of the flowers from the background overlapping the cardboard"
Kalee, what do you mean by this?

Kat said...

The piece does not seem done. I think you should not add another color but add hints of it in the background. I like where the piece is headed, but i think it needs something to combine the background and the foreground together. It seems to me as though you just placed the first one on top of some other artwork. But do not add another color, maybe different shades of it.

This piece is gonna turn out really nice. I would hang it in my room. The composition and color choices work well together. Not sure though if the carboard color works well with it, you can still see some of the brown. Maybe you are planning to leave it like that to work with the flowers and the "dirt" in the picture, i don't know. Love what you are doing so far. =]

Kat said...

I've just finished reading what everyone else said and the thing that stood out to me the most was what kalee said about the overlapping flowers. Maybe just have a tiny bit of the background flowers coming onto the cardboard. (by the way i've noticed i misspelled cardboard above)

Vanessa said...

I disagree with Kalee and agree with Krystal if the flowers over lap it is hard to reconcile the two medium. The cardboard is high relief so she would have to be extremely careful about how she connected them. I disagree with Kat the cardboard adds an effect with texture as far as the white. The rippled lines would not be there if it wasnt card board it adds a cool effect to the piece. The netting on the cardboad gives the piece depth and more than just one dimention.Maybe a soft green systematically placed around some of the black flowers would work.

Anonymous said...

Ceci

I've seen how Monica has built this piece in class. How she went with the first turquoise stenciled thing then created the green and black one going back and forth between the two layering and layering. Now she's picked the darker on and given it a background that provides further contrast and though I like the overall look I don't see how it fits with her other pieces. I understand what she said above about her investigation but I'm still not sure I see the mesh with the other stuff she's created.
I like the way she created the texture and contrast with the pastel. I also like the layers she's created with the green "flowers", cardboard and posterboard. The discordance between the graphic green and flowing ink flowers is an interesting contrast.

chandler said...

I think the strongest part of this artwork is the shadowing around the flowers because it carries the eye through the center of the piece and then introduces the idea of black and white for the background. I like your use of mixed media to express one similar pattern. To me, it does look incomplete because it does not really have a strong focal point. Maybe adding an image transfer, drawing, or collage area would help give the look of balance between a foreground and a background.